Sometimes I Think Only I Can See Him


Billy is such an adorably cute bunny!  Now, he does have a few drawbacks, such as laziness, superstitions, sexual irregularities, uncontrolled jealousies, a predilection for drugs and alcohol, vanity, ignorance of anything that requires the slightest trace of discipline to learn, no accomplishments to speak of, delusions of adequacy, indolence beyond all belief, rages, cruelty, thoughtlessness, self love, loud and gleeful belching, compulsive whistling, a vague but discernible bad attitude, uncontrolled flatulence, a marked aversion to soap and water, talking loudly in movie theaters, ditto restaurants, often passing out on the couch with his upper plate next to the overflowing ashtray, pants and soiled underwear down around his ankles.  He snores like a freight train and the smell is awful. He steals my cigarettes and leaves stained and oily magazines lying around featuring naked bunnies holding whips.  Last Halloween a mother and her kids saw him unconscious in front of the TV and the cops showed up.  I have been to court over that twice and now my lawyer won't return my calls.  Billy told a reporter from the Huffington Post I had been keeping him in sexual slavery and making him run laps when he was not filling sandbags or cleaning up after me.  Yesterday I was severely beaten by a mob of angry women wearing Me Too shirts.  I have no money left and the doctor says I could very well lose that eye.
Other than these flaws, minor and inconsequential, this is one sweet boopersnoop!  Can he come live with you?

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